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Ok, I got it
SHOCK REPORT     BREAKING NEWS   (T AND F.....   EXCLUSIVE !!!!!!)
The Seedy Side?
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IM SORRY TO SAY,   MUDLARKING HAS A DARK SIDE TOO !!!
Imagine the shock horror when this story landed on my desk. Im in so much shock i dont know where to begin.

Lets put it this way, my two heroes in life (T. diggers!)   Whom i look up too and would hope to try and be as good as if possible one day , one has kept a dark and seedy secret.

Both these characters are known by there first names by all london museums (B.M and London) have had so many significant finds that they have (and im not joking) changed history. These guys are used by authors writing reference books. Ive seen students come over from america to interview them for their knowledge.
The youngest lets call him Ian, i have known for a number of years and regard him as the ultimate detectorist in the country. I wont go into detail about him as he does not like publicity. Not only is he the best but also a church goer, a pillar of society, a solid family man and a person who has time for everbody (my kind of guy !)

Now the older one, lets call him Tony i thought the above of, until now...................
Lets just say until these two pictures were posted to me i thought butter wouldnt melt in this mans mouth. I know mudlarking can be a lonely life with many days where you find nothing of significance, some would go to the pub to drown there sorrows after a bad dig. This man is a renown poet with many poems published and has had he's own book in print. A man who can talk (and talk!) on EVERY aspect of history, a man who i looked up to until now........
A passing mudlark armed with a camera on a early sunday morning looked over the wall on to the thames   to find shock horror, Tony and hes lady friend. He was too scared to call out to Tony as he seemed to be enjoying himself too much, so he took the pictures and booked himself into counselling straight away (the poor guys still a jibbering wreck !)

I know its not nice to show this side of mudlarking but in society i think we can learn from these horrific pictures , plus it makes you want to get out more and meet REAL people.

P.s he was also spotted in the pictures two weeks later with Miss Mandy Valve.
Look i know its not St.Lucia...... you get the towels on the sun beds and " Oom Whaa ! ", will put my speedos on.......
Must have a Puncture , as it keeps on going down on me !!!!
I apologize to the British Museum !! Most of all i feel sorry for the Museum of London (our Museum !), for these shocking pictures and "YES IT IS HIM" !!.......... Dont ask me why ?.........Age i think..........
MUSEUMS HAVE A LOOK !!!!!!!! THAT WELL KNOWN FACE IS AT IT AGAIN ????.........NAKED ON THE 4-SHORE !!! YOU TOO COULD HAVE A BODY LIKE THIS !!!!......DIG THE THAMES FOR 30 YEARS, AND LOOK.....AN ADONIS....."KEBAB" !!!!! TOP BLOKE OLD PILS'C.......
WHERE'S MY THONG ???
IF YOUR EATING AT THE KEY BOARD LOOK AWAY !!!!!
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