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Ok, I got it
KITCHEN FORGERIES !!!
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UP TO NO GOOD SECTION !!!
SCROLL DOWN !!!
BORED STIFF,   I THOUGHT I'LL KNOW WHAT I'LL DO.......I'D HAVE A GO AT ???.........."FORGED LEAD TOKEN'S" !!!
HOW HARD CAN IT BE ????   SOME DIRTY LITTLE MAN 400 YEAR'S AGO CASTING LEAD TOKEN'S, "I CAN DO THAT" !!! (I THOUGHT ???) SEE HOW I GOT ON................"BILLY AND CHARLIE" EAT YOUR HEART OUT !!!

I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUR HOW VERY DANGEROUS THIS CAN BE............AS MY WIFE CAUGHT ME USING THE COOKER AS A FOUNDRY ("I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS COMING BACK EARLY" !!!) SO I'M NOW TOLD,   MY KID'S WILL GET LEAD POISONING NEXT TIME SHE DOES SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE !!!! TO WHICH I SAID "THE'VE GOT MORE CHANCE GETTING POISONING FOM YOUR COOKING THEN MY LEAD TOKEN'S" !!!! WRONG ANSWER.........I NOW KNOW !!!!

THE "DOG HOUSE" SPRING'S TO MIND AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME !!!!
TO MAKE THE MOULD'S..........IVE USED A BIT OF ROMAN HYPERCAUST AND A SHARP STONE (FOUND ON THE THAME'S)
DRAW THE SIZE OF TOKEN YOUR'LL NEED !!
PICK THE RIGHT TOOL HEAD,   TO TAKE OUT THE DISC SHAPE   (THIS CAN BE HARD GOING,   AS THE HYPERCAUST WAS ROCK HARD TO WORK !!)
COZ IT WAS SO HARD IT TOOK ME AGES TO GET IT OUT !!!!
WHEN YOU GET DOWN TO A GOOD DEPTH......LEVEL OFF THE BOTTOM SO YOU CAN DRAW A IMAGE ON IT...........
METAL
I PICKED A ANCHOR FOR THIS ONE AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE EASY TO DO.................HOW WRONG I WAS,   AS THE HYPERCAUST HAD A PIECE OF METAL IN IT AND A FLOOR (CRACK) WHERE THE ANCHOR WAS GOING ????
"YE OLD FOUNDRY" OR AS MY WIFE SAID "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY KITCHEN,   YOUR KILL US ALL" !!!

I LIKE "YE OLD FOUNDRY" BETTER.......IT'S GOT MORE OF A RING TO IT !!!! ("RING"...GET IT !!)
POP TWO MUSKET BALL'S INTO THE POT AND INTO THE FURNACE   (ALRIGHT THEN......STICK IT ON THE RING !!!)   ARE NIGELLA LAWSON'S ARM'S AS HAIRY AS MINE ????
KEEP IT ON THE HEAT TILL IT MELT'S......THIS DOES'NT TAKE TOO LONG AS LEAD MELT'S AT A LOW TEMP.......
POUR INTO THE MOULD.......TRY NOT TO OVER FILL (AS I DID TO START WITH !!) AS THEY LOOK TOO CHUNKY !!!!
LET IT COOL FOR A WHILE AND THEN PRISE IT OUT THE MOULD..............
SOME CAME OUT CHUNKY (TO MUCH OVER POUR !!!) AND SOME HAD SPRUE LEFT WHICH HAD TO BE CUT OFF !!!   THE CROSS AND PELLET CAME OUT BEST,   AS I RAN OUT OF LEAD (SO CAME OUT THIN) AND THE MOULD WAS ROUGH SO IT LOOKED SHAGGED STRAIGHT FROM THE MOULD...................
THE NEXT TRICK WAS TO DARKEN THE TOKEN DOWN.......SO I USED A T-CUT TYPE PRODUCT (FOR CLEANING CAR'S) WHICH TONE'S THE COLOUR DOWN FROM SILVER TO PENCIL GREY !!! THERE IS A PRODUCT YOU CAN BUY TO TURN IT BLACK (WHICH WOULD BE BETTER) AND MAKE IT LOOK MORE LIKE A THAMES FIND !!!
SO WHAT DID I LEARN FROM THIS POINTLESS EPISODE ???

WELL AS A THAME'S MAN OVER THE YEARS IVE HAD 1000's OF LEAD TOKEN'S (AS ALL THAME'S MEN AND WOMEN HAVE HAD)   I FOUND OUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN QUITE HARD TO HAVE DONE "INTRICATE WORK" AND I HAD ELECTRIC TOOL'S,   SO HOW DID THEY DO IT SO WELL ????  
ALSO.........I HAVE FOUND MANY WITH A SIDE'S MISSING !!!........THIS I CAN NOW TELL,   "WAS JUST CAST THE SAME AS MINE"..........( WITH LACK OF LEAD !!)   SO IT HAS'NT SNAPPED OFF,   IT WAS JUST CAST THAT WAY !!!!

BUT THE THING THAT INTRIGUE'S MOST IS...............DID THEY GET KICKED OUT OF THE KITCHEN BY THE MR'S ??????   "I BLOODY DID " !!!
UP TO NO GOOD...... SECTION !!!!
OR IN OUR CASE SHOWING YOU HOW TO BE CAREFUL WHEN BUYING A ARTIFACT OR COIN FOR YOUR COLLECTION........
IT'S A BEAUTY OF A SPOON, DONT YOU THINK ??? (and it just look's like it came straight from the thames !!!)
RIGHT JUST THINK FOR A MOMENT..........YOU'VE GOT A SPOON COLLECTION ON THE GO,   AND THIS 1600-1650 SEAL TOP COME'S UP IN SILVER (LET'S SAY ON E-BAY.)
EVERY THING'S PERFECT ON THIS SPOON APART FROM A MAKER'S MARK IN THE TOP OF THE BOWL (IN THIS CASE A TUDOR ROSE WOULD HAVE NOT GONE AMISS !!) BUT WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT,   THERE'S LOAD'S OF SPOONS OUT THERE WITHOUT THEM FOR THIS AGE........

IVE SHOWED THIS SPOON TO A LOT OF THAMES DIGGER'S WHO ALL SAY THE SAME THING......GREAT FIND, GREAT SPOON, WHAT DID THE FLO SAY AT THE MUSEUM ????

LET'S GO BACK TO THE START....A 1600th CENT SPOON.......HOW OLD IS IT ???   IT'S EASY,   400 YEAR'S OLD I HEAR YOU SAY.........

LET'S GO FOR IT AGAIN !!!!......YOU GOT IT CHEAP (YOU THOUGHT FOR £500)   IT'S A BARGAIN, THE GUY THAT SOLD IT TO YOU SAID,   AS NO MAKER'S MARK AND I KNOW YOU WANT IT FOR YOUR COLLECTION......PLUS "YOU'VE GOT A GOOD EYE, I CAN TELL" !!!   "I'M GONNA DO IT FOR THIS ROCK BOTTOM PRICE"........ (BARGAIN YOU THINK, WHAT A NICE GUY !!)

HOW OLD IS IT ????? 400 YEAR'S OLD ???? I'LL GIVE YOU A CLUE "2".......WHAT 200 YEAR'S ????

NO, THIS SPOON IS   "2 WEEK'S OLD"!!!   AND PULLED FROM A BLOCK OF SILVER,   HAND BEATEN FOR TWO WEEK'S,   DENTED AND SCRATCHED AND THEN BY REVERSING A CLEANING METHOD,   THE SILVER SMITH ATTACHED ALL THE MUCK FROM HIS ACID BATH'S BACK ONTO THE SPOON....... HENCH THIS WORK OF ART,   WHICH IT IS IN IT'S OWN RIGHT !!!!

THE SMITH IS A VERY TALENTED MATE AND CLUB MEMBER,   WHO CAN PULL ANYTHING FROM A BLOCK OF SILVER AND IF YOU WANT ANYTHING COPIED FOR YOUR COLLECTION HE WILL BE PLEASED TO TAKE ON THE TASK,   FOR HIS NORMAL HOURLY FEE.........

AND YES,   JUST REMEMBER YOU CAN BUY THE MAKER'S MARK FOR THIS ITEM (SO DONT GET FOOLED ON E-BAY) AND REMEMBER ALL OF THIS MAN'S WORK IS STAMPED WITH HIS NAME AND DATE ON A SMALL STAMP MARK (SO DONT GET ANY IDEA'S ABOUT SELLING IT ON !!)   A VERY GOOD MATE AND A VERY GREAT TALENT !!!!!
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